Non-monogamous people

Non-monogamous relationships have always been a part of civilized life. Yet non-monogamy has also evolved rapidly the last 50 years. It’s entered the mainstream in many societies, although within legal limits and various cultural constraints.

Some non-monogamy realities

“Non-monogamy” is a term that only refers to what it isn’t. What it actually means and how it works is personally defined by the partners in question. Only then is it consensually (“ethically”) workable and fulfilling. At best it’s a durable meeting of the minds among private adults. The question always is: did they enter into it and carry it forward with true integrity?

Non-monogamous people are most often raised in monogamy-oriented households, or within that dominant culture. For many, managing the realities of non-monogamy can take years to grasp, much less practice “ethically.”

Agreements

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be both a moral & functional framework. It requires robust transparency and detailed, customized and consensually modifiable agreements. ENM aspires to eliminate the monogamous trope known as ‘cheating’, i.e. the covert outsourcing of sex and/or emotional fulfillment, with tireless personal integrity. Integrity is defined as consistently saying and doing the same thing.

Continuous development

ENM is a nonstop personal development process – whether you begin adult relational life non-monogamously, or transition to it. Intimate relationships of all kinds can mature us, if we can bear it, via trial & error and unflinching self-confrontation.