Quick notes on Eroticism & Sexuality in Quarantine


©Neuroscience News

We can be fairly clear that there’s been for many a unique test of their erotic and sexual lives during the COVID-19 quarantine. The emphasis on “social distancing” was certainly chilling to the idea of seeking new sexual partners. (The alternative phrase, “safely relating”, never took off as a substitute.)


Miguel Gutierrez Jr./The Texas Tribune

Deadening effect

There’s little question that death and grief are very much in the air, to which we now add the emotional charge of persistent, massive racial inequities. These are deadening, either individually or together, and that’s not conducive to stimulating eroticism. Unless it does.

Confinement or captivity

People experienced the quarantine’s “stay-at-home” messaging as captivity, or the politically more neutral confinement. Either way, it forced on many a lot of counter-erotic domestic tasking. Many of us questioned whether our fellow citizens were fully aware of the danger they caused for others. Also deadening.

Timely work

I take the general position that a time like this is ideal for the development (call it seasoning if you like) of the erotic and sexual domains of relationship. Eroticism thrives on contrarian dynamics, defying common notions about social “norms”, such as a totally disinfected/sterile way of thinking.


©Health Affairs

Medically clear partners

Finding new partners raises obvious medical questions and safety requirements. That’s not the case if you and your partner(s) have observed strict quarantine restrictions, and have been asymptomatic for month(s). You do not place each other at greater risk via sexual contact.

Greater privacy

The decrease in social life also means that relationships have more privacy. This is ideal for partners, as it’s important to be able to check out from everyday realities as much as possible, to enter the other/erotic state.

©Save The Children

Children’s presence

The presence of children in the home these days is particularly vexing to partners who might otherwise have the isolation and privacy they like. I believe that this puts an emphasis on the parents’ willingness and skill at “carving out” time for each other – even an hour

Operating under cover

Remember that the range of manual or oral sexual experiences alone can easily embody new areas of sexual development. Quieting devices such as ball gags are not limited to muffling cries of pain. This is an example of required ingenuities.

Solo? Roomates?

If one is currently unpartnered for sex, the sexual relationship with self is all important. Too important to be weighed down with shame, although that’s the mark that puritanical societies has left, so to speak. But here’s an approach that works.

Context & details

This has been a brief example of dialogue points that cover some broader psychological context, along with directly practical skills and ingenuity born of necessity.

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