The Sexual Relationship With Self

The Sexual Relationship With Self The sexual relationship with self is a widely experienced part of adolescent and adult development. It’s a simple enough phrase, and people tend to make some instant sense of what it means. It quickly differentiates eroticism/sex between its internal and external contexts. An Erotic/ Sexual Battle Royal They’re not true […]

Why Desire Is Fragile

Sexual Desire Sexual desire, arousal and lust are powerful and alluring, so why is desire fragile? Whether one believes one’s life to be erotically blessed and indulged, or deprived and wounded, it’s hard not to see that desire (and arousal) is still one of the most robust ways to feel ‘alive’ – or ‘dead.’ Also […]

Can We Master Jealousy?

Therapy For Jealousy As a relationship therapist, I want to find ways that my clients can understand and master their jealousy, reducing the damage it can cause, and facilitating a process of personal and relational development. Jealousy is a stressful signal that partner differentiation and development in both could take place. At various points in this post, I describe ways of thinking […]

Desire Speaks

A Book On Desire The work of Katharine Angel, Unmastered: A Book on Desire Most Difficult To Tell, stands apart in its level of intimacy, vulnerability and courage. It sketches out an emotionally and physically aware psychology of heterosexual feminine desire, loosely but perceptively journaled in the context of an actual relationship. It begins with […]

Some Thoughts On Agreements

My relationship and couples clients know that I usually explore how they “agree”.  As a description of therapy, ‘finding agreements’ may sound rudimentary or simplistic. It may be confused with mediation and negotiation.  One party might think that finding agreement means somebody’s got to sell themselves out. I believe the truth is very different. Helping […]